My Memories of Pat

By Cousin JoAnn

As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.  It may become softer over time, more gentle, and some days will feel sharp.  But grief will last as long as love does – forever.  It’s simply the way the absence of your loved one manifests in your heart.  A deep longing, accompanied by the deepest love.  Some days, the heavy fog may return, and the next day, it may recede, once again.  It’s all an ebb and flow, a constant dance of sorrow and joy, pain and sweet love.

SCRIBBLES & CRUMBS

Today is a day to celebrate the birth and morn the loss of Pat. Today is a day that when reading all the comments people have placed on the blog, puts a warm feeling in my heart for the life and good times she had.  This is a great tribute to her and I hope it all brings comfort and puts a smile on the faces of everyone who misses her.

Pat was my cousin and I really didn’t know her very well as I was growing up because she 13 years older.  I do remember her Mustang.  As I got older and Pat got married and started a family and I occasionally babysat for her children.  Most of all I remember the wonderful gatherings she had at her house.  She invited everyone, even those who didn’t like each other, and everyone had a great time.  When it would get later in the evening nobody wanted to leave.  She knew how to make everyone feel welcomed.

I remember the passion she had when she was gathering information on our family tree.  She would come over and go through old pictures my parents had and listen to stories of times gone by.  Even if you were not really interested in your family tree, when you spoke to Pat about it you felt her enthusiasm.  I forever treasure the Family Tree that she put together for my side of the family.  It gives me a sense of pride to know what the previous generations went through.  History was only what I learned in school until I found out how my forefathers lived through it all, then it became personal to me and I felt like it was a part of me.

She enjoyed the Polish heritage and I remember he dancing the Polka at many occasions.

I remember Pat always dropping by whenever she was around Yonkers.  It was nice.

The last time I saw her was during her decline almost 4 years ago when I was in California.  Even though her exterior was changing, I could still see the sparkle in her eye and her fighting spirit.  She amazed me.  Her mind was diseased, but she did everything she could do to keep it stimulated.  She never stopped reading and even with her slow speech she always participated in the conversation.

What amazed me the most was the love I felt between her and Tom.  He did everything he could for her.  You could see that he was tired but it seemed like that never stopped him.  I have a great respect for him.

I do not know her children, my cousins, on an intimate level, but I do see a lot of her in Tori.  Uncle Cass told me that Pat was going to drive across country by herself for some reason I forgot, but he wouldn’t let her go alone, so he travelled with her.  I will let Uncle Cass tell that story.  She was determined and I see that in Tori.  

I remember sitting at Thanksgiving dinner one year and Tori was telling us how she wanted to live in the city.  That was her ultimate dream.  Pat kept on telling her how expensive it was and that she would probably not be able to do it.  Like Pat, she was determined and now she is enjoying a good life in big old NYC.

Pat never said anything bad about anyone.  She had a good soul and took things in stride, at least that is what I saw.

I am getting a great joy out of reading all the blogs about her.  It gives me a better sense of all the dimensions she had in her life. Again, this should be added to the Family Tree to embrace and memorialize the wonderful person she was.

Pat, you were one of a kind.

With love and affection,

JoAnn